I'm back. With a list.

I know, much like Pushing Daisies, I seemed to have vanished without a trace. But I'm back. Blame job-hunting, Christmas madness and the lack of anything on TV worth commenting on.

The end of the year brings the inevitable Top 10 (or 20) lists, and they've been done to death, and really, I can't add to them. Like everyone else, I loved The Wire, The Shield, Lost, 30 Rock, blah blah blah. So what I'll offer is this: My 10 favorite, most mind-blowing, most memorable TV moments of the year.

1. Lost: The island disappears. The bad guys are coming, and Ben climbs down into the depths of the island and finds. . . a big switch? And ZAP, just like that, they're gone. What. . . . the . . . . hell? The most stunning moment in a season full of them.

2.The Wire: Omar's demise. It came out of nowhere, a sudden bust of violence from the least likely candidate that was shocking even for a show that made shocking violence commonplace. It's not often a scene makes me bolt upright and shout a Vader-like "Noooooooo!" R.I.P. Omar. You were a bad, baaaad man. In such a good way. And like Vic Mackey (see next), it was the only appropriate way to go out.

3. The Shield: Vic's new job. The series finale was full of heartbreaking and gut-wrenching scenes (Shane's family laid out neatly on the bed, anyone?), but the introduction to Vic Mackey's new workplace was jaw-droppingly awesome. The sight of Vic in an ill-fitting suit, being reminded to put his name on his bag lunch and to be sure to call building services to adjust the thermostat was stunning. The wild beast was finally a caged animal. Or so we thought, until he stuffed his gun into his pants and stormed out of the building in the final scene. A perfect ending.

4. Mad Men: Season finale. I didn't watch the show religiously, but when I caught an episode it never failed to be outstanding. And the finale, from Don's reconciliation with Betty with so much left secret and unsaid, to Duck's power play crumbling as he underestimated Don, to the poignant and reveltory conversation between Peggy and Pete, all taking place with the Cuban Missile Crisis and the possible end of the world looming, was as gripping as anything on TV in 2008.

5. Battlestar Galactica: This is Earth? In a season full of shocking surprises – Cylons revealed, uneasy alliances, deteriorating mental states – this was the biggie. After all that running around the galaxy for so many years, Earth was finally found. Only it was a scorched, post-apocalyptic landscape. No dialogue – the looks of shock, confusion and disappointment on everyone's faces said it all.

6. Sons of Anarchy: The hit gone wrong. You could see it coming, the plan to kill Opie for his (wrongly) perceived betrayal and the horrible switch between drivers. Opie and his wife switched cars for the most ordinary reason, and because she was driving the wrong car at the wrong time, and because Tig was too cowardly to look his victim in the face before killing him, she died in a drive-by shooting. One of those moments where you know nothing will ever be the same in that show's universe.

7. Top Chef: Season 4 finale. Forget about sourpuss Lisa, this was all about the two consistently best, most personable chefs in the season – Richard vs. Stephanie. It's rare on a reality show to have two such likeable people vying for the win, which only made it all the more nerve-wracking. Richard had an off night, and Stephanie didn't – and she took the victory. I'd eat in either of their restaurants any time.

8. The Office: The dinner party. Finally, a comedy makes the list. This was probably the funniest episode of the year, with Michael & Jan having Jim & Pam and Andy & Angela over for the most awkward dinner party ever. Which, of course, was crashed by Dwight and his babysitter/date. From the stinky candle room to the 3-hour wait for the main course to the teeny tiny plasma TV, this was The Office at its best.

9. Life on Mars: Finale. Technically not a 2008 show, but it aired on BBC America this year, so I'm counting it. After two seasons of wondering if Sam's world exists only in his mind, or if he's a time-traveler, all is revealed – he's been in a coma and it all was a dream. But what was even more shocking was what Sam did next, after waking up and being forced to live in a now-unfamiliar present day. (And don't worry, ABC says they won't end their series the same way, so this shouldn't spoil anything.)

10. Saturday Night Live: Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Tina Fey single-handedly made SNL relevant again with her spot-on impression of possibly the worst vice-presidential candidate in history. Really, a couple months after the fact, I'll bet more of us remember Fey's skits more than the real thing.
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Flipping Channels

Quick hits, thoughts and news . . .

•TNT premiers its newest show, Leverage, at 10 p.m. Sunday (it'll then move to its regular time of 10 p.m. Tuesdays). Timothy Hutton (the guy who had the crush on a waaaay-too-young Natalie Portman in Beautiful Girls) stars as the ringleader of an Ocean's 11-type crew of con men who only rip off bad guys who deserve it. Sounds good, huh? Actually it was good, the first time I saw it . . . when it was a BBC show called Hustle. Though it doesn't bill itself as such, Leverage is just another Americanized version of a cool British show. Hustle is a stylish, breezy, caper show — similar to Burn Notice —well worth checking out. All four seasons are available on DVD, and you can catch reruns occasionally on AMC. It's almost certainly better than Leverage, and they speak with way cooler accents.

•The demise of Pushing Daisies may be good news for Heroes. But is it already too late? Pushing Daisies creator Bryan Fuller is on the verge of signing a deal to return as an executive producer for Heroes, which he worked on in its brilliant first season. His return won't do much for the current season, which is already mostly written. But maybe he can help next season not suck so badly. The quickly sinking Heroes has already fired two co-executive producers this season, and it was only a month ago that Heroes creator Tim Kring called the show's remaining fans "saps and dipshits." It's not enough to draw back this sap, but the addition of Fuller sure can't make the show any worse.

•Sci Fi Channel this week green-lit 18 episodes of Caprica, a Battlestar Galactice prequel series. The two-hour pilot has been shot, and production on the season will start next summer. Look for the show sometime in 2010. And to quench your BSG thirst between the show's spring finale and Caprica, a standalone move called The Plan will be coming sometime in the interim. Modeled on last year's BSG standalone Razor, The Plan will focus on the Cylons' master plan and will take place between the series' first and second seasons. And starting Dec. 12, Scifi.com will roll out 12 webisodes leading up to BSG's premier on Jan. 16. Personal revelations regarding one character are promised.

•A pair of second-season premiere dates have been announced: The CW's the-devil-made-me-do-it-(no-for-real!) supernatural comedy Reaper will return on March 17, and HBO's Flight of the Conchords, following New Zealand's fourth-most popular comedy/folk band, is back Jan. 18. For a sneak peek at the entire Season 2 debut episode of Conchords, it'll be posted online at Funnyordie.com starting Dec. 17.
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Coming soon . . .

The fall season's winding down, and it's time to start anticipating the return of the two best remaining shows on TV.

Six weeks to the final chapter of Battlestar Galactica (Jan. 16).



Seven weeks until we're reunited with Lost (Jan. 21.).



I'm starting to get giddy.
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Entourage: It's All Too Easy

So another season of Entourage has whizzed by (every year I swear their season ends almost before it begins), but this time I might be ready for a break. The finale left me unsatisfied, and it's frustrating because they were so close to making it work.

When we last left the boys in the penultimate episode, they were flying back to New York because "we always said when we had nothing left, we'd go home." Which rings untrue and is amazingly self-centered for Vince. Everybody else actually was making it in L.A. -- Eric's management company was taking off, Drama was on a hit show, and even Turtle's prospects were looking up thanks to Jamie. Vince was the only one with nothing. I'm all for loyalty to one's friends, but that's a two-way street, and it bugged me to see the gang drop everything they'd worked so hard to build and run home to coddle Vince's ego.

Vince has always been the least interesting character on the show. Things come easy for him, he's lazy and even Ari doubts his acting chops. I thought this was really the chance for Vince to emerge. The meltdown after Gus Van Sant's rejection was the first time I had seen some fire in Vince. How great would it have been for Vince to hit bottom and have to work his way up? Auditioning again, taking supporting roles, basically busting his ass to get back to the top. He always says how passionate he is -- that was the time to show it. Showing his doubts, his struggles, maybe his jealousy over his friends' success might have actually given Vince some depth, and would have made him 1,000 times more interesting than he is now.

But along comes Marty Scorcese out of nowhere to hand-deliver what could be the biggest plum in Vince's career. And yeah, he'd be perfect as the modern Gatsby. But for once, I wanted to see him earn something. Everyone else has, and they've become better people and better characters. Vince is still getting life handed to him on a platter and hasn't grown a bit since Season 1. And that routine just gets old.
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TV Death Watch

Pushing Daisies is all but dead, and don't look for Ned to revive it. ABC announced Thursday that the show, along with Dirty Sexy Money and Eli Stone, won't be shooting any more episodes. While short of an official cancellation, it's unlikely any will return once they're done airing the shows that have already been shot. Life on Mars, meanwhile, got picked up for more shows and will follow Lost on Wednesdays starting Jan. 28, after a monthlong hiatus starting in December. And ABC also announced the return(?) of Scrubs to its new network on Jan. 6.

Too bad about Pushing Daisies, but the writers strike last year really killed it just as it was gaining momentum. And the second season just never recaptured the quirky, goofy, original feel. Instead it began to feel schmaltzy and repetitive. Word on the street is that the final episode to air was written to serve as a series finale, so loyal viewers might get some sense of closure. That'll air on Dec. 10 (I think).

I've cooled a bit on Life on Mars. If I'm home and bored, I'll watch it, but I have a couple episodes sitting unwatched on my DVR. It's slower-moving in terms of the overall plot arc than the BBC original, and much less compelling. But it'll be a good match with Lost, especially if they start focusing on the mystery behind Sam's time travel.
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The Shield: Who's Going Down?

The Shield series finale is next week, and word on the street is that the most frenetic, intense, hardcore cop show ever made is going out in a blaze of glory. Entertainment Weekly reports that four major characters will die. So who will it be? Here's a quickie handicap of the field:

Councilman David Aceveda (10-1): At one time, I was confident Aceveda would end up dead. But now I'm not so sure. It almost seems better for him to succeed and become mayor, keeping the cycle of cynicism and corruption going. Of course, he's right in the middle of the cartel sting, and he could get caught in the crossfire while trying to prove himself to ICE. But Aceveda always manages to slip through sticky situations, and I see him getting away safely.

Det. Steve Billings (5-1): How ironic would it be for Billings to go down in the line of duty and receive a hero's sendoff? It seems his primary concern (other than beating the system) is providing for his ex-wife and daughter, and the widow's benefits would do that. Hmmm, the more I think about it, the more I'm thinking he's a dark horse candidate for the morgue.

Det. Ronnie Gardocki (3-1): Ronnie needs to run. Now. The cops have him for being Vic's bagman, and the feds have him on Vic's confession. He has zero options. I could see him whacking Shane, maybe even Mara, and then taking his own life. He might be smart enough to escape to Mexico or work a deal to rat on Vic, if there's anything left he could be tried for. But Ronnie's future isn't looking good.

Off. Tina Hanlon (20-1): She could have been killed off a few times before, and she doesn't seem particularly capable when all hell's breaking loose. But I don't think it'll be her, just because her character's been too minor and her death wouldn't resonate as much.

Det. Julian Lowe (15-1): Julian's story has fallen to the wayside over the years, but he's the moral compass of the show. Which is why I could see him falling victim in the battle against the baddies. What more poetic than the death of the one good cop? Still, I don't think the show will end entirely cynically, and I think he'll make it.

Cassidy Mackey (10-1): Vic's daughter has been in various stages of teenage meltdown all season. I could see her attempting suicide as a cry for help, only she turns out to do it right.

Corrine Mackey (50-1): No one's safe, but I think Vic's ex-wife is as safe as can be. Vic won't hurt her, and unless there's some sort of tragic accident, I think she'll emerge unscathed. Well, physically, at least.

Vic Mackey (2-1): The ending is Shakespearean for the baddest cop on the block. He's finally come clean on everything he's done and has federal blanket immunity. But he can't just walk away. Vic has sinned, and he has to pay somehow. Who'd kill him? The list of enemies is long, but I don't think Vic will go down a chump. He would have to be killed by a worthy foe -- not some cartel hitman or a random cop. It would have to be someone close, someone to complete the circle of tragedy. Ex-wife Corrine, in fear of her life? Or unstable daughter Cassidy? I could see either one popping a cap in Vic's skull in self-defense. I don't see Vic going the suicide route, but that's a slight possibility too. I'm also holding out for a small chance that Vic gets away, but loses everything he holds dear -- his family, his reputation, his future.

Off. Danni Sofer (30-1): I don't see her going down either. In fact, I see her as more of a threat to kill Vic, like Corrine, in some sort of self-defense scenario. And she's a single mom. Leaving a trail of orphans is no way to end a show. (Except for you Jackson, sorry kid.)

Mara Vendrell (3-1): Her odds increased in the last episode, when she gunned down an innocent woman. Mara was never innocent, but now she has blood on her hands. She's as desperate as Shane is, and might see suicide as the only way out. The tricky question here is her unborn baby and son Jackson. Vic's already said Jackson's too young to be a credible witness, so he's safe. But who'd take out a pregnant woman? A desperate Ronnie?

Shane Vendrell (even): Shane has to die. He killed Lem, his best friend, and so many bodies have dropped as a consequence of that. He has to go down. But by whose hand? Vic would risk his immunity by killing him now. But Ronnie would do it in a heartbeat. I don't see a random cop or gangbanger out for a bounty getting it done. For all the wrongs Shane has done, it has to be someone close to him. Maybe even himself -- Shane's becoming unwound, no place to run, no future for him or his family, and now he's hopped up on drugs. I can easily see a murder-suicide with him and Mara.

Det. "Dutch" Wagenbach (3-1): I'm getting scared for Dutchboy. He'd be at the center of any cartel/Ronnie takedown, but I think the bigger threat is the budding serial killer kid who's apparently calling him. Dutch has always had a thing for serial killers, and maybe now he's got one who's smarter than him, and who's looking to eliminate a threat. Watch your back, Dutch.

Capt. Claudette Wyms (4-1): Her health has been faltering all season. After her meltdown at the federal building, will she stroke herself out? Or can she live in a world where good cops fail and bad cops escape justice? I don't like her going the sleeping-pills route, but it's possible. I see more of a Frank Pembleton-like health breakdown.

So place your bets. My money's on Billings, Shane, Mara and Ronnie.
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Mmmmmm, Top Chef

Know how to properly make chicken piccata, and never undercook beets. That's what I've learned from watching Top Chef. And kids, those are lessons for life.

Season 5 of TV's best competition reality show kicks off tonight (10 p.m., Bravo), and this time the setting's Brooklyn (so expect it to rate high on the hipster-meter). Now I don't pretend to be a great cook, or even a good one. But damn, I love this show. It's so well done, the competitors so talented, the contests so relevant. Possibly unique among shows of its ilk, Top Chef actually pits highly accomplished people and lets them do what they do best -- cook. So simple, but in a TV world that rewards adults for being smarter than a fifth grader, it's refreshing to see a show that rewards actual excellence.

It's also opened my eyes to new food. Would I have tried sweetbreads or foie gras before seeing the judges drooling over them on Top Chef? Well, maybe. But it certainly made me more open to different foods and flavors. Although the thought of Stephanie's peanut butter couscous from last season still makes me gag.

Chef-testants this season include sheltered suburban mom Ariane, overbearing Long Islander Danny, Stefan the frightening Finn and an Italian actually named Fabio. Of local interest, executive chef Jamie Lauren of San Francisco's Absinthe is in the mix. Here's hoping she fares better than last season's sorry collection of San Francisco chefs. Returning to judges' table are carnivorous head judge Tom Colicchio and his penetrating glare, ice queen host Padme Lakshmi and her mile-long legs, the lovely and delightful Gail Simmons (Sorry Anne, but is it wrong to have a crush on her?) and new judge Toby Young, who replaces Ted Allen, who for some reason ($) left a brilliant show for the utterly lame Food Detectives on Discovery. No word on whether Anthony Bourdain will make another memorable guest judge appearance, but Eric Ripert, Wiley Dufrense, Martha Stewart, Rocco Despirito and Dave Grohl (?!?) are on tap.
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The Shield: This Can't End Well

I really want Vic Mackey to get away with it all. Despite all the bad stuff he's done on The Shield -- and there's a lot of it -- he's still the guy you're rooting for, the only one tough enough to get his hands dirty and do what's necessary, whether it's for the good of him, his family, or his city. There's something slightly noble in how he won't skip town before he takes down the Mexican cartel. Sure, it's a whole lot of self-preservation at work too, but with Vic being Vic, you know he could run now and live a life of leisure on some Mexican beach. But Vic's not a quitter, and he's in it till the end for better or worse. And of course, it'll be for worse.

Vic's the ultimate player -- the riverboat gambler who can read the situation and quickly adapt it to his advantage, raising the stakes higher and higher and somehow always winning. He's covered his back pretty well in his illegalities -- from murdering fellow cop Terry Crowley to robbing the Armenian money train, to countless other set-ups, frame jobs and abuses. There are precious few loose ends. But even those are now starting to unravel. Shane's on the run with his wife and sick kid, along with his file that could send Vic to prison for life. Vic's cornered, starting to panic, abandoning his code -- he's always had a soft spot for women and children, even the ones who've burned him. But now he's willing to kill Shane's wife, Mara, and her unborn child to save himself. That's a pretty big line to cross.

You get the feeling Vic's taken one step too far, and has fallen off the ledge and can't go back. Now his ex-wife, Corinne, is spilling her secrets to the cops. Vic's trapped on all sides, and I don't see a viable way out. He can run, now. Or he can stay and fight, and inevitably lose.

There are only four episodes left of this brilliant series, and however many twists and turns are left, and whichever direction Vic turns, you just know it won't end well for him. Judgement day is almost upon us, and Vic Mackey is going to go down guns blazing.
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Something to look forward to

The fall TV season stinks. But there is something to look forward to: a new crop of shows in January. Here's a quick look at what's coming in 2009:

• Monk and Psych: short winter seasons starts Jan. 9 on USA.
• 24: Jan. 11 on Fox.
• Battlestar Galactica: Jan. 16 on Sci-Fi.
  
• Big Love and Flight of the Conchords: Jan. 18 on HBO.
• Lost: Jan. 21 on ABC.
• Burn Notice: short winter season begins Jan. 22 on USA.
  
• Nip/Tuck and Damages: return in January to FX. (Rescue Me won't return until March or April)
• Breaking Bad: first quarter of 2009; no date has been set by AMC.
• Reaper: early 2009 (no date has been set by the CW)

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Dollhouse? Um, nevermind

Sounds like you can forget about Joss Whedon's upcoming sci-fi show Dollhouse. The show that once had a ton of buzz has been slotted to the TV wasteland of 9 p.m. Fridays, starting Feb. 13. In other words, Fox already paid for a bunch of episodes, but they hate the show and just want to burn it off when no one's watching.

Ehh, maybe that's OK. A new trailer for the show hit the web today, and it looks kinda lame.


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Bye bye, Heroes

How far has Heroes fallen? It's being bumped tonight in favor of the consistently awful Saturday Night Live's "Presidential Bash" (I'm going to go out on a limb and predict they'll use the opportunity to showcase Tina Fey one last time). It's just as well -- the acting in Heroes would probably generate more comedy, though unintentional. I won't miss it -- I'm done with Heroes. As I've mentioned before, it's gotten too complicated and too stupid. And as Tim Goodman mentioned in a recent podcast, it hasn't even followed its own Bible of characters' powers and personalities. I give up.

In a related note, the show's two top writers were fired today. Co-executive producers Jeph Loeb and Jesse Alexander ran the show on a day-to-day basis, and “It’s understood that Alexander and Loeb were let go because of Peacock execs’ frustration with the creative direction of the show,” according to Monday's story in Variety.

Can't say that the firings weren't deserved. What was once one of the more creative, intriguing shows on TV has gone horribly, horribly awry. So my fanship is officially dead. And unlike a Petrelli family member, I won't be back.

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Pushing Daisies going six feet under?

Is now the time to give up on Pushing Daisies? It got trounced in the ratings last night by Barack Obama's infomercial (yet still received its highest ratings of the year). That can't be good. This season has been creatively stunted anyway, and the charm and quirkiness that made it such fun in its first season has somehow evaporated. The choice on whether or not to jump ship might not be entirely up to viewers -- the show's going to be pre-empted the next two weeks, scheduled to return Nov. 19. Production on the already-ordered batch of shows ends Nov. 12. ABC might just leave it at that and not restart production on new episodes. Anyone for more Dancing With the Stars?

Then there's Heroes. I'm about ready to quit. I love the addition of Robert Foerster, but how many power-suckers can there be? And god knows what the plot is anymore. Too many characters, too much time travel, too many visions, too many characters killed-no-wait-it-was-just-a-fakeout, too many characters acting out of character, too much overacting by Peter and too much lame Nikki/Tracy storyline (geez, why not just give her amnesia too?). I just don't care about any of them any more. Even Kristen Bell couldn't save this week's episode.

On the bright side, I may soon have an extra couple of free hours a week. Just in time for the new season of Top Chef (coming Nov. 12).
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New favorite show: The Life & Times of Tim

It's been a miserable fall, filled with lame new shows and disappointing returning shows. One bright spot, however, has been HBO's animated The Life & Times of Tim. It's reminiscent of Curb Your Enthusiasm, with Tim, the relatively normal guy, finding himself in more and more outrageous, embarrassing situations. Like what happens when your girlfriend comes home with her parents and finds you on the couch with a hooker, who you called by accident when you were trying to call an electrician and asked for "back-door action." Or when Tim fights an old man and accidentally intimidates him to death. Or when your boss orders you to take the blame when his dog poops on the office floor. You know, situations that you or I come across every day.

The animation is rough, but the dialogue is hilarious. Affable and terminally perplexed Tim is joined by his forever frustrated, incredulous (yet eternally forgiving) girlfriend Amy; Debbie, the hooker with the heart of gold who favors assless stretch pants and who Tim comes to for awful advice; co-worker Stu, whose attraction to the heartless office HR woman is just a recipe for disaster; and The Boss, who can beat even Michael Scott on the bad-boss-o-meter.
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FX, my nemesis

Curse you, FX! You don't provide an HD channel, yet you offer Sons of Anarchy and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia in HD on On Demand. So I decide to watch those two shows On Demand this week, only to wait, and wait, and wait until you make them available. It's Saturday and still I await Wednesday's new adventures of Sam Crow. Come on FX, be like a normal network and post your shows the day after they air!

And to add to the frustration, why isn't The Shield available On Demand? Way to make your best shows more unavailable!
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Life on Mars: When police brutality was fun

The fall TV season finally has a good new show. Life on Mars might be the first show since The Office that Hollywood has successfully adapted from British TV. Like the original, it has a good sense of humor mixed in with the action and mystery. Life on Mars was almost entirely recast late in the development process, and it's paid off. Jason O'Mara, who plays Sam, the time-traveling cop, has traces of a young Mel Gibson. Minus the right-wing craziness. Michael Imperioli is spot-on as a jaded, fu manchu-ed detective, and Harvey Keitel (and how'd they get Harvey Keitel?!?) is outstanding as the ends-justify-the-means captain. Even Gretchen Mol is good, and I finally might be able to forgive her for being such an unsupportive girlfriend to Mike McD in Rounders.

It's weird watching all the casual police violence though. Yeah, things were done differently in 1973, and yeah, there probably were more suspects getting roughed up. But really, the Miranda ruling came down in 1966, and it's hard to believe New York police officers were that oblivious to basic rights when it came to arrests and interrogations. It's a bit cringe-worthy, like watching Mel Gibson beating down a pedestrian in Lethal Weapon III, not long after the Rodney King riots, or watching Heathers in the post-Columbine world. Just something that makes you go, "Hmmm, that actually isn't so funny these days." Still, Life on Mars isn't meant to be a realistic procedural, it's a fantasy. Some of the punches are for comedy's sake, others are symbolic to show how much times have changed. And I can deal with that as long as they maintain that sense of fantasy.

It's got a great soundtrack too. I can forgive the iPod blasting in the squad car in the premiere when it's balanced later by David Bowie on 8-track. It's refreshing how much of the music is a little more obscure and appropriate, and not the typical '70s pop you'd expect on network TV.

It'll be interesting to see where this show goes. The original lasted only two seasons and 16 episodes on the BBC, which is only about two-thirds of a typical American TV season. The show's creators have already said they won't resolve their version in the same way the British verson did. So is Sam in a coma? Is he dreaming? In an alternate reality? God forbid, has he been abducted by aliens? Here's hoping ABC continues on the high road and maintains a rare quality show.
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Settle down . . .

Why haven't I been posting? I've been a little busy moving. Then there were some DSL problems. But I should be back to posting fairly regularly by the end of the week. So hang in there, all three of you loyal readers!

And just for a slight fix: I'm bummed that Team Geek got bounced from The Amazing Race (how galling that the smart team got burned by such a dumb mistake), I've come around and am fully onboard with Sons of Anarchy, I'm debating whether or not to drop Heroes from my lineup, and I'm wondering what the heck Don Draper is doing. Kath & Kim was awful, but Testees might have been even worse. And I have a whole mess of shows waiting for me on my DVR, including the premiere of Life on Mars.

So once I catch up with shows and finally get settled in, things will get back to normal.
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What happened to this season?

Why are all my shows suddenly sucking?

I've given up on Fringe, even though it's been picked up for a full season. It just annoys me, for reasons I've ranted about before.

What happened to Heroes? It feels like I've seen this plotline before. (Hmmm, visions of a future apocalypse . . . let's figure out how to stop it. Wait, I've seen that one twice before.) The jumps into the future don't work for me. It's just not compelling and future Peter is even more lame than present Peter. And future Peter looks kinda like Mac on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And the acting is kinda terrible. Jamie Hector a super villain? Meh. He was way scarier as a drug kingpin on The Wire. I'm about ready to drop the show. If it picks up, I can always catch up online or on DVD.

Has Entourage jumped the shark? Sunday's episode may have been the worst one they've ever done. The gang spaced on 'shrooms was just a car wreck of awkward acting. HBO just announced it'll be back for a new season next summer, but if the show doesn't correct its course, you have to wonder why.

Sons of Anarchy? It's good, sorta. But I still haven't watched last week's episode. So that means it's not compelling enough. But FX has green-lit a full season and they run a million reruns, so I'm sure I'll get back to it.

Even The Amazing Race seems lost. Where are the likable teams? OK, there are the Nerds, and maybe Ty and Aja (and is that pronounced "Aya" or "A-ja"?). But I soured on the brother and sister after he ditched the frat guy (don't flat-out promise to help someone and 10 seconds later renege. That's not strategy, that's being a dick). And pretty much everyone else annoys the hell out of me. TAR seems to be good every other year, and I guess that means I have to look forward to next season already.

Biggest disappointment? Pushing Daisies. Was it just me, or did the Season 2 premiere really lack something? I just didn't feel the cleverness oozing from every nook and cranny, like I did last season. It probably didn't help that the show had been off the air for almost a year. But I haven't given up on this one yet.

One bright note: Life on Mars is getting boffo reviews. So that's something to look forward to. The British version was great, and I really think this could become the big hit of the year. If, and that's a big if, it's done right. Here's hoping. . .
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Live blog! -- Amazing Race

Thankfully, one show The Lovely and Talented Anne and I can obsess about together is The Amazing Race. For last night's season premiere, she suggested doing a live blog via IM, with MST3K-type commentary. (Well, live via DVR -- some of us work nights.) So with no further ado, here's a selection of our random, sometimes incoherent babblings as we were introduced to TAR, Season 13.

[12:26:18 AM]
MM: Here we go...
MM: Huh, Phil on a random rooftop in Century City?
The LTA: "Random" -- by that you mean CBS HQ?
MM: Is that what it is?
The LTA: What else is in Century City except TV studios?

[12:29:22 AM]
MM: oh god, Tina looks awful in HD!
The LTA: She made some bad decisions with that swimsuit
MM: I've seen pants less baggy than her skin

[12:31:34 AM]
The LTA: That couple's gonna FIGHT
MM: The one from NYC you mean? (Terence & Sarah) Or the couple with the chick who wants to get married NOW? (Anthony & Stephanie)
The LTA: The powerlawyerbitch and runnersworld
MM: Yeah. I think both will fight

[12:32:48 AM]
The LTA: I like Phil's coat
MM: Day-glo green is not a flattering color on Ken & Tina
The LTA: ASU GIRLS ROCK?
MM: He's hoping it'll score points back home
The LTA: i'm gonna hate team superbad, i think.
MM: I've seen ASU girls. It won’t help them.
The LTA: Hee!
The LTA: Nice head bandana loverboy
MM : Sloooow hippies
The LTA: I should had vegas odds on that!

[12:34:04 AM]
MM: First use of the word "babe"
The LTA: That term is so loaded now. Thanks Michael Scott!
MM: Totally, babe!

[12:35:13 AM]
The LTA: Um. since i missed the intro, are Tony and Dallas (?) mother and son?
MM: Yep
The LTA: Phew
MM [12:35:29] : No, she's a cougar! Rarrrr!
The LTA [12:35:29] : Team cougar!
The LTA: Jinx!

[12:36:07 AM]
MM: oooh, ken cheated
The LTA: once a cheater always a cheater
MM: another “babe”
MM: wow, headband again....
MM: Ugh, I hate her -- Tina
The LTA: that color green is not flattering on either Nick or Tina
MM: Nooooo
MM: “the cute chick and the guy.” Nice description by the frats.
MM: carpool lane worked for those guys. nicely done
The LTA: HOV baby!
The LTA: I think it's three people in Washington state....oh wait... you can see the cameraman!
The LTA: person, sorry. cameraperson
MM: They went to the wrong counter -- wa wa waaaa
The LTA: ixnay on the abebay
The LTA: WHAT IS WITH THE "BABE"
MM: no real shame in LAX confusion -- i get lost everytime I fly through there
The LTA: really?
MM: the terminals screw me up. I'm always in the wrong one.
The LTA: i've only been there a few times. it's always under construction though.
MM: by always I mean twice

[12:41:44 AM]
MM: team superbad is annoying me already
The LTA: headband guy looks familiar to me
MM: because he's a generic frat boy wannabe?
The LTA: first leg dude. keep it together!
The LTA: they're two young guys. don't look like such pussies
MM: yeah, they're whining in the first leg, while still in LA? Yikes.
The LTA : shouldn't they be, like, hackers or something and be able to like, hack a good flight?
The LTA : are we supposed to think they're nerds or geeks or what?
MM: headband guy reminds me of someone I used to work with
The LTA : i'm not sure yet of their gimmick
MM: just makes 'em look like dorks
The LTA : i missed what they did wrong specifically, besides, you know, sucking
MM: i think they just went to the wrong counter
The LTA: oooh

[12:45:45 AM]
MM: dude, between Starr, the Southern Belles, the dicorcees and the day-glo green woman, there's going to be a LOT of haggard faces when the makeup runs out

[12:47:52 AM]
MM: Ken totally just undressed Starr with his eyes. Keep your eye in him, Tina!
The LTA: totes

[12:49:06 AM]
The LTA : nice. they know some Spanish
MM: yeah, but that won't do much good in Brazil
The LTA: doh

[12:49:57 AM]
MM: Kelly & Christy say they're strong women? They look like strippers
The LTA: they're both divorced? they're like, 25?
MM: I know. They’ve lived such hard lives
The LTA: *eyeroll*

[12:50:44 AM]
MM: NYC is bickering already
MM: cool, a funicular
MM: I love that word
The LTA: me too!
The LTA: have we discussed that before?
MM: we have

[12:51:23 AM]
MM: hey, did you hear Ken cheated on Tina?
The LTA : omg, babe, i think maybe ken cheated on tina

[12:51:44 AM]
MM: was that candy called blong?

[12:52:15 AM]
MM: another babe
The LTA: great, babe
MM: what is with those two? (Terence & Sarah)
The LTA: Barack and Michelle fist bumps!
The LTA : babe
MM: get in the groove babe!
MM: wow, that finish line squeal -- Sarah's voice can only be heard by dogs!
The LTA: i didn't hear it

[12:53:38 AM]
MM: divorcees are hosed
MM: nice travel outfits too
MM: I don't think "rapido" is portugese
The LTA: i was gonna say, maybe someone would help them if they didn't look like hookers

[12:55:54 AM]
The LTA : I want some blong candy
MM: mmm, blong

[12:57:03 AM]
The LTA : what did she just say
MM: i missed it
The LTA: "hecked off about it"?
MM: hecked? wtf?
The LTA: it's hecked or pecked. both odd
MM : maybe they're making up swear words for network TV. like "frak" on Battlestar Galactica
The LTA: or badussy on Project Runway
MM : badussy?
The LTA : aparently it's a conjunctive insult

[1:02:12 AM]
MM: ooooh, hookup time between Starr and Dallas! (She was a Cowboys cheerleader -- hmmm, subliminal much?)
The LTA: ewwww
The LTA: Dallas is gross
MM: oh god, I hate Terence and his nasty fauxhawk/spout
The LTA: brusha brusha brusha!
MM: applying makeup in the jungle, nice
The LTA : stabby!
The LTA: eyeshadow? for real?

[1:03:54 AM]
MM : A whistle! Where's Charla?
MM: that;s why the world hates americans
The LTA: cuz they show up with whistles and yelling.

[1:04:34 AM]
MM : oh christ, Sarah's so drama. You're in a RAAAACE, not a conversation!
The LTA: Did you ever see that montage about "i'm not here to make friends?"
MM : really? will they do anything to win?

[1:05:30 AM]
MM : damn Sarah, she runs too fast! (Umm, isn't Terence supposed to be a runner/trainer? And he can't keep up with her? Wow.)

[1:06:48 AM]
MM : yikes. soft way down, i guess
The LTA : the answer to the mystery question is either, God, 3, or Truman Capote
MM : heh
MM: hate? really? already?
MM : well, I hate them already, so....
The LTA : who said hate?
MM]: i couldn't tell. someone was all, "I hate those guys." Might've been Sarah

[1:08:25 AM]
MM : mom & dad? what's wrong with them?
The LTA: that's um... troubling
MM : are they that wanting for a parental figure?
The LTA: maybe it's one of those therapy things where people play other people. and they're playing the troubled couple. You know. so that the young'ins can get over their parents' divorce

[1:10:47 AM]
The LTA: Where are the Clauses?
MM: come on geeks! get competitive!
The LTA : those two are charming
MM: nick and starr -- you don't annoy me yet, despite the camouflage
The LTA : are those two bro/sis or a couple?
MM : bro/sis
The LTA : yay. I like those combos

[1:14:35 AM]
MM: Wow, the frats aret obnoxious
The LTA: what's the question they had to answer? How many steps?
MM: Yep, how many steps did you climb?
The LTA: Ha. That's predictable.
MM: I think that puts them in last place, epecially if they can't find their way back easily
The LTA: morons
MM: there's a reason everyone else took soft way down. Never leave it to chance, or randomness
The LTA: exactly. pick the simple task
The LTA: Isn't the one geek supposed to have a Tourism Management degree?
MM: yeah, but from ASU, not a real college
The LTA: it sounds like a fake degree anyway

[1:17:27 AM]
MM: even if the hippies make it, i'm afraid they're not long for this show. They seem slooooow. Hurry up bekeepers!
MM: damn, the frats are catching up
The LTA: have all the teams left?
MM: Yep, the hippies are doomed
The LTA: well, they'll get a lovely vacay in Sequesterville
MM: Huh, have Aja & Ty been seen on this episode before now?
The LTA: barely
The LTA: they used "babe" that's all i remmeber
The LTA : awww
MM: buh-bye beekeepers
MM: save the what?
MM: oh, bees
The LTA: I'm glad they put that message out there. There are actually bee issues in the news

[1:23:04 AM]
MM: So what did you think? impressions?
The LTA: I'm surprised at how good the geek team is
MM: maybe their organization skills will actually help. They may lag on physical legs though
The LTA: the couples all annoy me
MM: yeah, I'm with you on that. I remember the Aja & Ty's online intro annoyed me, but they seem OK in person. Maybe. The bro & sis are ok, though i can see where they could get annoying
The LTA: the make-up on the ladies is irritating
MM: I already loathe sarah!
MM: "...and they didn't even say hi to us!"
The LTA: dude has a bandaid on his head?
MM: yeah, I hope he got hit with something
The LTA: shes' so charming.
MM: I can see myself rooting more against teams than for them
The LTA: yeah, i'm not super in love with any of them
The LTA: so where did you hear they were going this year? anywhere interesting?
MM: Angor Wat, New Zealand, Kazakhstan, Moscow.... I heard they end in portland
The LTA: whoo hoo
MM: it'll be interesting to see how all the chicks dress when they're in more conservative countries. Lycra short-shorts might not fly in Kazakhstan
The LTA: You'd hope it would occur to them

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Hooked on chick TV

I've been watching a lot more chick TV recently, and I blame the influence of my girlfriend, The Lovely and Talented Anne. I realized this Saturday night after we watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, which, while very good, might have been the saddest, most depressing thing I've seen all year. But it was 12:30 a.m. and I needed to watch something else before going to bed, a mental sorbet to cleanse the mind of dreariness. Before, I would have gone straight to Adult Swim cartoons, or World War II highlights on the History Channel, or Most Awesome Weapons of the Future on one of the Discovery channels. But what did I go for? House Hunters on On Demand. And I realized, good lord, I'm actually voluntarily watching HGTV now.

I'm hooked on House Hunters, especially the international version. I'm baffled over people's obsessions with stainless steel appliances and double sinks and frustrated at how so many people see the paintjob and not the potential of the room, but dammit, I'm glued to the set when it's on. Ooooh, nice high ceilings. . . . I like that staircase. . . . Ew, that kitchen is way too small. I love comparing the sprawling, excessive suburban American house with the tiny, antiquated Paris apartment with the miniscule fridge and half-shower. Maybe it's the voyeuristic look into random people's tastes (or lack thereof) and perceived needs -- the obsession with a single-story house, or the need for a tub, or a garage big enough to fit a monster truck. And it doesn't end with House Hunters. Property Virgins (love me them Canadians!), Curb Appeal, Designed to Sell . . . I watch them all!

So yes, I'll shamefully admit it. I'm hooked on chick TV.

And don't even get me started on Gossip Girl. . .
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Heroes' Who's Who

Is Heroes a repository for actors from my favorite shows? Sometimes it seems that way. In addition to regulars Adrian Pasdar (awesomely evil in the brilliant-but-canceled Profit), Greg Grunberg (CIA agent Weiss in Alias) and Kristen Bell (the lovely and talented Veronica Mars), the show is ramping it up this season with the addition of Jamie Hector (at left, as chillingly creepy drug kingpin Marlo Stanfield from The Wire), fellow Wire alum Andre Royo (who played junkie Bubbles) and Francis Capra (delinquint biker Weevil on Veronica Mars).

Well played, casting agents. Now if only they can find a spot for Michael K. Williams. Come on, who wouldn't want to see Sylar face off with Omar on a dark street?
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Who the Emmys Should Be Honoring

The Emmys are coming up Sunday, and while cable shows are finally getting more recognition from the academy, there are still plenty of snubs and plenty of undeserving nominations. Here are my picks if I was in charge of the Emmys.

BEST COMEDY SERIES
The picks: 30 Rock, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, The Office, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: Entourage had an off season, and Two and a Half Men isn't funny.
Replace them with: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Flight of the Conchords
Winner: The funniest show on TV, 30 Rock, wins back-to-back.

BEST DRAMA SERIES
The picks: Boston Legal, Damages, Dexter, House, Lost, Mad Men
Undeserving: Not a bad field. But Boston Legal doesn't belong, not by a long shot. House? Ehhh. Bye.
Replace them with: The Wire, Battlestar Galactica
Winner: The Wire. It's criminal that it's been snubbed all these years. It deserves a Return of the King-type makeup win for the entire series' run.

BEST ACTOR, COMEDY:
The picks: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Tony Shaloub, Monk; Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies; Steve Carell, The Office; Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: The quirkiness of Monk's Tony Shaloub has worn out, and Charlie Sheen must have blackmail material on academy voters. No, seriously. He's probably been in three-ways with hookers with half the voting members.
Replace them with: David Duchovny, Californication; Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice.
Winner: Lee Pace is would be a nice dark horse pick, but it's gotta go to Alec Baldwin, who steals every scene he's in.

BEST ACTOR, DRAMA
The picks: James Spader, Boston Legal; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Michael C. Hall, Dexter; Hugh Laurie, House; Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment; Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Undeserving: James Spader creeps me out and is on a lousy show. Hugh Laurie? Grumpy doctor blah blah blah. Gabriel Byrne, who managed to star in only the second-most depressing show of the year (congrats, Tell Me You Love Me).
Replace them with: Dominic West, The Wire; Edward James Olmos, Battlestar Galactica; Alexander Skarsgard, Generation Kill
Winner: It's great that Cranston got a nod and everyone knows Hamm will actually win. But it'd be nice for Jimmy McNulty to finally be on the winning side, so I give it to Dominic West.

BEST ACTRESS, COMEDY
The picks: Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine; America Ferrera, Ugly Betty; Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Undeserving: Christina Applegate? Seriously? Ugh. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Sorry. America Ferrera? Not this year.
Replace them with: Jaime Presley, My Name Is Earl; Kerri Kenney, Reno 911; Sarah Chalke, Scrubs
Winner: Tina Fey rules.

BEST ACTRESS, DRAMA
The picks: Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters; Glenn Close, Damages; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order, SVU; Holly Hunter, Saving Grace; Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Undeserving: Wow, looks more like an Oscar field. But ditch Sally Field and Mariska Hargitay.
Replace them with: Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica; Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Winner: Mary McDonnell reached new depths in her powerfully portrayal of President Laura Roslin's fight against cancer and crisis of faith.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY
The picks: Jeremy Piven, Entourage; Kevin Dillon, Entourage; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Rainn Wilson, The Office; Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: Wilson can stay. The rest must go. (Sorry, Ari.)
Replace them with: Rhys Darby, Flight of the Conchords; Ray Wise, Reaper; Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock; J.B. Smoove, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Winner: Rhys Darby? Check. He was outstanding as the utterly clueless band manager/Kiwi consul Murray.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA
The picks: William Shatner, Boston Legal; Ted Danson, Damages; Zeljko Ivanik, Damages; Michael Emerson, Lost; John Slattery, Mad Men
Undeserving: Shatner can't seriously be nominated, can he? William Freakin . . . (pause) Shatner?!? Slattery's good but falls victim to a strong field. Too bad there's no room for The Wire's Clark Johnson.
Replace them with: Anyone from The Wire. Let's say Lance Reddick and Andre Royo.
Winner: Danson took a dramatic turn and blew me away. Emerson's googley eyes alone could win the Emmy. But Andre Royo was devastating in the redemption of Bubbles. Royo wins.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY
The picks: Kristin Chenowith, Pushing Daisies; Jean Smart, Samantha Who?; Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live; Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men; Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
Undeserving: Jean Smart (if she couldn't win for 24....), Amy Poehler (isn't it enough to be the funniest person on a terribly unfunny show?), Holland Taylor (good lord, another Two and a Half Men nomination? The blackmail theory might really have some legs).
Replace her with: Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies; Kristen Schaal, Flight of the Conchords; Pamela Adlon, Californication
Winner: Kristin Chenowith was pitch perfect in her pithy pining for the pie man.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA
The picks: Candice Bergen, Boston Legal; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters; Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy; Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy; Dianne Weist, In Treatment
Undeserving: Ugh. Toss Bergen, Wilson, Oh, and Weist.
Replace them with: Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica; Rose Byrne, Damages; Julie Benz, Dexter; Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men
Winner: Katee Sackhoff. She reinvented her own reinvention of Starbuck.

BEST VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
The picks: Late Show With David Letterman, Real Time With Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Undeserving: That SNL is still being nominated is a bigger joke than anything the show's done recently.
Replace it with: Top Gear
Winner: The Daily Show has somehow, improbably, become the most important show on television.

BEST REALITY-COMPETITION SHOW
The picks: American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Top Chef
Undeserving: Much as I'd love to toss Dancing With the Stars, what would replace it? Flavor of Love? Let's just admit this is a shallow pool of contenders.
Replace them with: Nothing worthy.
Winner: Top Chef, by a mile. Take truly talented, smart people and let them duel in real, practical competitions that test their actual skills? What a twist!

So there you have it. If only the academy would listen to me. But no, the least common denominators will probably win, and we'll wake up Monday wondering just what Charlie Sheen has in his blackmail box.
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Sinking fast

Glug . . . glug . . . glug . . .

That's the sound of Fringe rapidly sinking on my must-see list. I tolerated the ridiculousness and over-exposition in the pilot, thinking it'd pick up steam. Last night's episode didn't give me much hope for that. If anything, it was even more ridiculous than the pilot. FBI agent Olivia isn't particularly compelling now that she's not trying to save her partner/secret boyfriend. Josh Jackson's character just bugs me and looks chronically constipated. And is his father an evil genius behind all sorts of horrible experiments or comic relief?

In a nutshell, Fringe doesn't know what it is. It has the intriguing, all-encompassing conspiracy and good horror-of-the-week storylines, but then it switches gears and moves from dark and moody to a by-the-books procedural with attempts at goofiness. If I wanted Bones, I'd watch Bones. But I don't. I want Fringe to take itself seriously and not dumb itself down, which is exactly what's happening. X-Files delved into the ridiculous, but handled the situation so seriously that viewers really did believe. When Fringe tries to take that same leap of faith, it flops because it's delivered by a mad scientist in a pseudo-comic manner. You just don't believe.

I'll give Fringe one more chance and hope for the best, but with Heroes coming back next week, I might drop the new show in favor of an old favorite.
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Tina Fey for President

You've probably seen it already, but the TV highlight of the weekend was, without question, the opening sketch for the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. Somehow they got Gov. Sarah Palin to appear! Huh, what a good sport! She really reminded me of Tina Fey. You can check it out here.

The rest of the show though? Sucked. If SNL wants to be relevant again, it needs to just stop broadcasting and morph into an online-only short sketch site. Like FunnyOrDie.com. The only funny SNL sketches I've seen in the past five years or so I've seen online anyway. I mean, did anyone actually see "Lazy Sunday" live on TV? Plus, online they could be edgier.
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The week in review

The TV season isn't in full swing yet, so there are still gaping holes in my viewing habits. That being said, here's a list of not so much my favorite shows from the past week, but the shows I watched. Ranked in order of awesomeness.

1. The Shield: This is the highlight of any week it's on. God, this show is good. The tension just keeps winding up, and you know it's going to explode before the season's over. Vic playing two organized crime syndicates off each other while double-crossing both of them? Vic and Shane working together to make things "right"? Vic trying to keep his career as Claudette has him in her sights? And while his own daughter almost blows everything up by trying to press charges against him? Tick tick tick tick.......this is not going to end well for anyone. Oh, and how scary were the Spook Street boys? And they're NOT one of the Top 10 gangs? Yikes.

2. Fringe: OK, the acting wasn't great, some plot points were absurd and there was a ton of awkward exposition. But the mystery was outstanding and I love conspiracy theories. The Cate Blanchett lookalike they got to star in the show is no Dana Scully, but that's probably a good thing -- there are already too many X-Files similarities. But I generally liked her character. Pacey -- err, I mean Joshua Jackson's character -- was a little young to be quite so patronizing, but once he dropped that act he was tolerable. And you've gotta love any show with Lance Reddick (Daniels from The Wire). He's just as ominous here as he was in his guest role on Lost last season. The giants locator subtitles were kinda cool (and were reminiscent of the Lost title, hmmm), but that's a trick that might get old. But overall, good production values, nice complex mystery that'll take forever to solve, and good bits of humor to break the tension. And I love how it was shot in Boston in winter. Like X-Files when it was shot in Vancouver, the location adds all kinds of moody undercurrents.

3. Entourage: The boys are back. Are they better than ever? That remains to be seen. But after a year-plus layoff, it's good to have them back. The opening scenes made me want to go to Mexico ("Wow, it's gorgeous, I never knew the coast of Baja was like that!"), until I realized they shot it in Hawaii ("Oh. Nevermind"). Vince is broke and a Hollywood pariah after his awful Medellin (reviewed in a hilarious guest appearance by Richard Roeper), which went straight to video (ouch). Hopefully he'll bounce back quickly because this show is at its best when Vince & Co. are living the high life. Broke Vince doesn't do much for me. But that bizarre bit with Drama and his new French girlfriend chirping at each other cracked me up.

4. Gossip Girl: Last week I said I wasn't hooked on it. OK, maybe I'm a little hooked. It's soapy and trashy, but not brainless. Which gives it one up on The Hills. This is quickly becoming my guilty pleasure show. The dialogue is snappy, the plot twists are delicious (Nate becoming a man-ho? Nice!), and it's self-aware enough that you know it's never going to have "a very special episode."

5. Sons of Anarchy: It seems to exist in the same universe as The Shield (One-Niners, corrupt cops everywhere), but not in the real world. It just throws me how it's set in San Joaquin County, but in a San Joaquin County with mountains, where Lodi is the major city, where heroin is bigger than meth, and where it's not oppressively hot. That bit of fantasy aside, I'm liking this show. I'm glad Charlie Hunnam (the Brit from Undeclared) finally has a good show, Katy Sagal is building an Emmy-worthy role as the resident Ophelia/Lady MacBeth, and I love how the gang is made up of a who's-who of character actors who look like serial killers (especially Kim Coates and Tommy Flanagan). I'm not completely hooked yet, and I hope it gets more compelling, because if not, it's in danger of dropping to my wait-for-DVD list once more shows start up.

6. Burn Notice: I haven't watched this week's episode yet, but it came back after a three-week, U.S. Open-induced break. This is one of my favorite shows and it has a secure spot on my weekly best list, even sight unseen.

7. The Hills. I don't know if I saw the most recent episode of last week's. Either way, it just annoyed me. I'm so over this show. The gang jetted to Vegas for Frankie's birthday. Drama ensued, yadda yadda yadda. It's sad watching this knowing that these are real people. They're all just so vapid and shallow. I can get all the same trashiness with Gossip Girl, plus not feel dirty for watching real people humiliate themselves.

What I didn't watch:

True Blood. Ehhh, it just doesn't sound up my alley. Maybe I'll check it out On Demand if I'm bored someday. Buffy gave me all the vampire storylines I'll ever need.

90210. Seriously? I didn't even make it through the pilot. It's baaaaad.

Mad Men. I know, I know, it's the best show I'm not watching. I've seen it, I've liked it, but it's just not compelling enough to get me to watch every week. It's in my DVD pile.
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