Who the Emmys Should Be Honoring

The Emmys are coming up Sunday, and while cable shows are finally getting more recognition from the academy, there are still plenty of snubs and plenty of undeserving nominations. Here are my picks if I was in charge of the Emmys.

BEST COMEDY SERIES
The picks: 30 Rock, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, The Office, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: Entourage had an off season, and Two and a Half Men isn't funny.
Replace them with: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Flight of the Conchords
Winner: The funniest show on TV, 30 Rock, wins back-to-back.

BEST DRAMA SERIES
The picks: Boston Legal, Damages, Dexter, House, Lost, Mad Men
Undeserving: Not a bad field. But Boston Legal doesn't belong, not by a long shot. House? Ehhh. Bye.
Replace them with: The Wire, Battlestar Galactica
Winner: The Wire. It's criminal that it's been snubbed all these years. It deserves a Return of the King-type makeup win for the entire series' run.

BEST ACTOR, COMEDY:
The picks: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Tony Shaloub, Monk; Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies; Steve Carell, The Office; Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: The quirkiness of Monk's Tony Shaloub has worn out, and Charlie Sheen must have blackmail material on academy voters. No, seriously. He's probably been in three-ways with hookers with half the voting members.
Replace them with: David Duchovny, Californication; Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice.
Winner: Lee Pace is would be a nice dark horse pick, but it's gotta go to Alec Baldwin, who steals every scene he's in.

BEST ACTOR, DRAMA
The picks: James Spader, Boston Legal; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Michael C. Hall, Dexter; Hugh Laurie, House; Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment; Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Undeserving: James Spader creeps me out and is on a lousy show. Hugh Laurie? Grumpy doctor blah blah blah. Gabriel Byrne, who managed to star in only the second-most depressing show of the year (congrats, Tell Me You Love Me).
Replace them with: Dominic West, The Wire; Edward James Olmos, Battlestar Galactica; Alexander Skarsgard, Generation Kill
Winner: It's great that Cranston got a nod and everyone knows Hamm will actually win. But it'd be nice for Jimmy McNulty to finally be on the winning side, so I give it to Dominic West.

BEST ACTRESS, COMEDY
The picks: Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine; America Ferrera, Ugly Betty; Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Undeserving: Christina Applegate? Seriously? Ugh. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Sorry. America Ferrera? Not this year.
Replace them with: Jaime Presley, My Name Is Earl; Kerri Kenney, Reno 911; Sarah Chalke, Scrubs
Winner: Tina Fey rules.

BEST ACTRESS, DRAMA
The picks: Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters; Glenn Close, Damages; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order, SVU; Holly Hunter, Saving Grace; Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Undeserving: Wow, looks more like an Oscar field. But ditch Sally Field and Mariska Hargitay.
Replace them with: Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica; Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Winner: Mary McDonnell reached new depths in her powerfully portrayal of President Laura Roslin's fight against cancer and crisis of faith.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY
The picks: Jeremy Piven, Entourage; Kevin Dillon, Entourage; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Rainn Wilson, The Office; Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: Wilson can stay. The rest must go. (Sorry, Ari.)
Replace them with: Rhys Darby, Flight of the Conchords; Ray Wise, Reaper; Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock; J.B. Smoove, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Winner: Rhys Darby? Check. He was outstanding as the utterly clueless band manager/Kiwi consul Murray.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA
The picks: William Shatner, Boston Legal; Ted Danson, Damages; Zeljko Ivanik, Damages; Michael Emerson, Lost; John Slattery, Mad Men
Undeserving: Shatner can't seriously be nominated, can he? William Freakin . . . (pause) Shatner?!? Slattery's good but falls victim to a strong field. Too bad there's no room for The Wire's Clark Johnson.
Replace them with: Anyone from The Wire. Let's say Lance Reddick and Andre Royo.
Winner: Danson took a dramatic turn and blew me away. Emerson's googley eyes alone could win the Emmy. But Andre Royo was devastating in the redemption of Bubbles. Royo wins.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY
The picks: Kristin Chenowith, Pushing Daisies; Jean Smart, Samantha Who?; Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live; Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men; Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
Undeserving: Jean Smart (if she couldn't win for 24....), Amy Poehler (isn't it enough to be the funniest person on a terribly unfunny show?), Holland Taylor (good lord, another Two and a Half Men nomination? The blackmail theory might really have some legs).
Replace her with: Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies; Kristen Schaal, Flight of the Conchords; Pamela Adlon, Californication
Winner: Kristin Chenowith was pitch perfect in her pithy pining for the pie man.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA
The picks: Candice Bergen, Boston Legal; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters; Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy; Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy; Dianne Weist, In Treatment
Undeserving: Ugh. Toss Bergen, Wilson, Oh, and Weist.
Replace them with: Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica; Rose Byrne, Damages; Julie Benz, Dexter; Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men
Winner: Katee Sackhoff. She reinvented her own reinvention of Starbuck.

BEST VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
The picks: Late Show With David Letterman, Real Time With Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Undeserving: That SNL is still being nominated is a bigger joke than anything the show's done recently.
Replace it with: Top Gear
Winner: The Daily Show has somehow, improbably, become the most important show on television.

BEST REALITY-COMPETITION SHOW
The picks: American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Top Chef
Undeserving: Much as I'd love to toss Dancing With the Stars, what would replace it? Flavor of Love? Let's just admit this is a shallow pool of contenders.
Replace them with: Nothing worthy.
Winner: Top Chef, by a mile. Take truly talented, smart people and let them duel in real, practical competitions that test their actual skills? What a twist!

So there you have it. If only the academy would listen to me. But no, the least common denominators will probably win, and we'll wake up Monday wondering just what Charlie Sheen has in his blackmail box.