Friday, September 5, 2008

Prime-time smackdown: Gossip Girl vs. 90210

It's a battle of who's the richest, trashiest and bitchiest -- Gossip Girl or the new 90210.

But really, it's not even close.

At the urging of someone near and dear to me, I finally tuned in to Gossip Girl and caught the season premiere. I've gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised. It's totally trashy and exists in another reality, but it's so over the top and shot so stylishly. It's like the TV version of Cruel Intentions. And I loved Cruel Intentions. I was instantly won over by the voice of Veronica Mars as the narrator -- Kristen Bell needs to be on TV more. It was pretty easy to get up to speed with the plot points -- Dan and Jenny are the new kids on the scene, the Brandon and Brenda if you will; Chuck wears lime green suits and ascots yet somehow isn't gay; and everyone's slept with everyone else. It's trashy yet doesn't take itself too seriously. There are the requisite Josh Schwartz-infused pop-culture references, and in a shocking twist, the queen bee is a brunette! In my mind, Gossip Girl out-Hills The Hills (Jenny's fashion designer boss was even meaner that Kelly Kutrone). And it's so much less annoying and Spencer-free. Would I watch it again? You bet. It's not a must-list addition yet, but if I'm bored on a Monday, I'll check it out.


The new 90210, however, won't lure me again. It's not just bad, it's boring. From the opening Hills-inspired montage to the generic dialogue (Opening line, "This sucks." Seriously? What teenager would mope about moving from Wichita to Beverly Hills? And living in a mansion?), to the self-reference overload (David Silver's sister? Andrea Zuckerman's daughter? Not to mention Kelly, Brenda and Nat? Doesn't anyone ever move away from Beverly Hills?), it seemed completely unoriginal and watered down. I suppose it's a tad more realistic in that the kids' biggest problems are cheating on a report and making the lacrosse team, but no one tunes in to 90210 for realism. They tune in for over-the-top excess and trashy drama, and what they got was a dull mishmash by what seemed like the freshly scrubbed cast of High School Musical. Also, Annie (the new Brenda) was way, way too skinny and I kept waiting for Tristan Wilds to morph from adopted son and token black guy Dixon into his previous, devastatingly heartbreaking role as student-turned-hitman Michael on The Wire and pop a cap in someone's ass. Jessica Walter as the permantly tipsy, ex-Skinemax actress grandma was the best part of the show. How about retooling the show into a comedy, fire everyone but her, and make her the matriarch of a dysfunctional family a little farther south, like Newport Beach? And name one of the sons Gob. Yeah, I'd watch that. But I digress...

Most of all, 90210 seemed dated. It was fun in the 90s, but that genre has evolved, and like it or not, Gossip Girl is the new paradigm. Blame/credit Laguna Beach and The Hills, but today the wealth, the excesses and the relationship drama are revved to the red line, and 90210 is still puttering around at 35 mph.

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