Live blog! -- Amazing Race

Thankfully, one show The Lovely and Talented Anne and I can obsess about together is The Amazing Race. For last night's season premiere, she suggested doing a live blog via IM, with MST3K-type commentary. (Well, live via DVR -- some of us work nights.) So with no further ado, here's a selection of our random, sometimes incoherent babblings as we were introduced to TAR, Season 13.

[12:26:18 AM]
MM: Here we go...
MM: Huh, Phil on a random rooftop in Century City?
The LTA: "Random" -- by that you mean CBS HQ?
MM: Is that what it is?
The LTA: What else is in Century City except TV studios?

[12:29:22 AM]
MM: oh god, Tina looks awful in HD!
The LTA: She made some bad decisions with that swimsuit
MM: I've seen pants less baggy than her skin

[12:31:34 AM]
The LTA: That couple's gonna FIGHT
MM: The one from NYC you mean? (Terence & Sarah) Or the couple with the chick who wants to get married NOW? (Anthony & Stephanie)
The LTA: The powerlawyerbitch and runnersworld
MM: Yeah. I think both will fight

[12:32:48 AM]
The LTA: I like Phil's coat
MM: Day-glo green is not a flattering color on Ken & Tina
The LTA: ASU GIRLS ROCK?
MM: He's hoping it'll score points back home
The LTA: i'm gonna hate team superbad, i think.
MM: I've seen ASU girls. It won’t help them.
The LTA: Hee!
The LTA: Nice head bandana loverboy
MM : Sloooow hippies
The LTA: I should had vegas odds on that!

[12:34:04 AM]
MM: First use of the word "babe"
The LTA: That term is so loaded now. Thanks Michael Scott!
MM: Totally, babe!

[12:35:13 AM]
The LTA: Um. since i missed the intro, are Tony and Dallas (?) mother and son?
MM: Yep
The LTA: Phew
MM [12:35:29] : No, she's a cougar! Rarrrr!
The LTA [12:35:29] : Team cougar!
The LTA: Jinx!

[12:36:07 AM]
MM: oooh, ken cheated
The LTA: once a cheater always a cheater
MM: another “babe”
MM: wow, headband again....
MM: Ugh, I hate her -- Tina
The LTA: that color green is not flattering on either Nick or Tina
MM: Nooooo
MM: “the cute chick and the guy.” Nice description by the frats.
MM: carpool lane worked for those guys. nicely done
The LTA: HOV baby!
The LTA: I think it's three people in Washington state....oh wait... you can see the cameraman!
The LTA: person, sorry. cameraperson
MM: They went to the wrong counter -- wa wa waaaa
The LTA: ixnay on the abebay
The LTA: WHAT IS WITH THE "BABE"
MM: no real shame in LAX confusion -- i get lost everytime I fly through there
The LTA: really?
MM: the terminals screw me up. I'm always in the wrong one.
The LTA: i've only been there a few times. it's always under construction though.
MM: by always I mean twice

[12:41:44 AM]
MM: team superbad is annoying me already
The LTA: headband guy looks familiar to me
MM: because he's a generic frat boy wannabe?
The LTA: first leg dude. keep it together!
The LTA: they're two young guys. don't look like such pussies
MM: yeah, they're whining in the first leg, while still in LA? Yikes.
The LTA : shouldn't they be, like, hackers or something and be able to like, hack a good flight?
The LTA : are we supposed to think they're nerds or geeks or what?
MM: headband guy reminds me of someone I used to work with
The LTA : i'm not sure yet of their gimmick
MM: just makes 'em look like dorks
The LTA : i missed what they did wrong specifically, besides, you know, sucking
MM: i think they just went to the wrong counter
The LTA: oooh

[12:45:45 AM]
MM: dude, between Starr, the Southern Belles, the dicorcees and the day-glo green woman, there's going to be a LOT of haggard faces when the makeup runs out

[12:47:52 AM]
MM: Ken totally just undressed Starr with his eyes. Keep your eye in him, Tina!
The LTA: totes

[12:49:06 AM]
The LTA : nice. they know some Spanish
MM: yeah, but that won't do much good in Brazil
The LTA: doh

[12:49:57 AM]
MM: Kelly & Christy say they're strong women? They look like strippers
The LTA: they're both divorced? they're like, 25?
MM: I know. They’ve lived such hard lives
The LTA: *eyeroll*

[12:50:44 AM]
MM: NYC is bickering already
MM: cool, a funicular
MM: I love that word
The LTA: me too!
The LTA: have we discussed that before?
MM: we have

[12:51:23 AM]
MM: hey, did you hear Ken cheated on Tina?
The LTA : omg, babe, i think maybe ken cheated on tina

[12:51:44 AM]
MM: was that candy called blong?

[12:52:15 AM]
MM: another babe
The LTA: great, babe
MM: what is with those two? (Terence & Sarah)
The LTA: Barack and Michelle fist bumps!
The LTA : babe
MM: get in the groove babe!
MM: wow, that finish line squeal -- Sarah's voice can only be heard by dogs!
The LTA: i didn't hear it

[12:53:38 AM]
MM: divorcees are hosed
MM: nice travel outfits too
MM: I don't think "rapido" is portugese
The LTA: i was gonna say, maybe someone would help them if they didn't look like hookers

[12:55:54 AM]
The LTA : I want some blong candy
MM: mmm, blong

[12:57:03 AM]
The LTA : what did she just say
MM: i missed it
The LTA: "hecked off about it"?
MM: hecked? wtf?
The LTA: it's hecked or pecked. both odd
MM : maybe they're making up swear words for network TV. like "frak" on Battlestar Galactica
The LTA: or badussy on Project Runway
MM : badussy?
The LTA : aparently it's a conjunctive insult

[1:02:12 AM]
MM: ooooh, hookup time between Starr and Dallas! (She was a Cowboys cheerleader -- hmmm, subliminal much?)
The LTA: ewwww
The LTA: Dallas is gross
MM: oh god, I hate Terence and his nasty fauxhawk/spout
The LTA: brusha brusha brusha!
MM: applying makeup in the jungle, nice
The LTA : stabby!
The LTA: eyeshadow? for real?

[1:03:54 AM]
MM : A whistle! Where's Charla?
MM: that;s why the world hates americans
The LTA: cuz they show up with whistles and yelling.

[1:04:34 AM]
MM : oh christ, Sarah's so drama. You're in a RAAAACE, not a conversation!
The LTA: Did you ever see that montage about "i'm not here to make friends?"
MM : really? will they do anything to win?

[1:05:30 AM]
MM : damn Sarah, she runs too fast! (Umm, isn't Terence supposed to be a runner/trainer? And he can't keep up with her? Wow.)

[1:06:48 AM]
MM : yikes. soft way down, i guess
The LTA : the answer to the mystery question is either, God, 3, or Truman Capote
MM : heh
MM: hate? really? already?
MM : well, I hate them already, so....
The LTA : who said hate?
MM]: i couldn't tell. someone was all, "I hate those guys." Might've been Sarah

[1:08:25 AM]
MM : mom & dad? what's wrong with them?
The LTA: that's um... troubling
MM : are they that wanting for a parental figure?
The LTA: maybe it's one of those therapy things where people play other people. and they're playing the troubled couple. You know. so that the young'ins can get over their parents' divorce

[1:10:47 AM]
The LTA: Where are the Clauses?
MM: come on geeks! get competitive!
The LTA : those two are charming
MM: nick and starr -- you don't annoy me yet, despite the camouflage
The LTA : are those two bro/sis or a couple?
MM : bro/sis
The LTA : yay. I like those combos

[1:14:35 AM]
MM: Wow, the frats aret obnoxious
The LTA: what's the question they had to answer? How many steps?
MM: Yep, how many steps did you climb?
The LTA: Ha. That's predictable.
MM: I think that puts them in last place, epecially if they can't find their way back easily
The LTA: morons
MM: there's a reason everyone else took soft way down. Never leave it to chance, or randomness
The LTA: exactly. pick the simple task
The LTA: Isn't the one geek supposed to have a Tourism Management degree?
MM: yeah, but from ASU, not a real college
The LTA: it sounds like a fake degree anyway

[1:17:27 AM]
MM: even if the hippies make it, i'm afraid they're not long for this show. They seem slooooow. Hurry up bekeepers!
MM: damn, the frats are catching up
The LTA: have all the teams left?
MM: Yep, the hippies are doomed
The LTA: well, they'll get a lovely vacay in Sequesterville
MM: Huh, have Aja & Ty been seen on this episode before now?
The LTA: barely
The LTA: they used "babe" that's all i remmeber
The LTA : awww
MM: buh-bye beekeepers
MM: save the what?
MM: oh, bees
The LTA: I'm glad they put that message out there. There are actually bee issues in the news

[1:23:04 AM]
MM: So what did you think? impressions?
The LTA: I'm surprised at how good the geek team is
MM: maybe their organization skills will actually help. They may lag on physical legs though
The LTA: the couples all annoy me
MM: yeah, I'm with you on that. I remember the Aja & Ty's online intro annoyed me, but they seem OK in person. Maybe. The bro & sis are ok, though i can see where they could get annoying
The LTA: the make-up on the ladies is irritating
MM: I already loathe sarah!
MM: "...and they didn't even say hi to us!"
The LTA: dude has a bandaid on his head?
MM: yeah, I hope he got hit with something
The LTA: shes' so charming.
MM: I can see myself rooting more against teams than for them
The LTA: yeah, i'm not super in love with any of them
The LTA: so where did you hear they were going this year? anywhere interesting?
MM: Angor Wat, New Zealand, Kazakhstan, Moscow.... I heard they end in portland
The LTA: whoo hoo
MM: it'll be interesting to see how all the chicks dress when they're in more conservative countries. Lycra short-shorts might not fly in Kazakhstan
The LTA: You'd hope it would occur to them

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Hooked on chick TV

I've been watching a lot more chick TV recently, and I blame the influence of my girlfriend, The Lovely and Talented Anne. I realized this Saturday night after we watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, which, while very good, might have been the saddest, most depressing thing I've seen all year. But it was 12:30 a.m. and I needed to watch something else before going to bed, a mental sorbet to cleanse the mind of dreariness. Before, I would have gone straight to Adult Swim cartoons, or World War II highlights on the History Channel, or Most Awesome Weapons of the Future on one of the Discovery channels. But what did I go for? House Hunters on On Demand. And I realized, good lord, I'm actually voluntarily watching HGTV now.

I'm hooked on House Hunters, especially the international version. I'm baffled over people's obsessions with stainless steel appliances and double sinks and frustrated at how so many people see the paintjob and not the potential of the room, but dammit, I'm glued to the set when it's on. Ooooh, nice high ceilings. . . . I like that staircase. . . . Ew, that kitchen is way too small. I love comparing the sprawling, excessive suburban American house with the tiny, antiquated Paris apartment with the miniscule fridge and half-shower. Maybe it's the voyeuristic look into random people's tastes (or lack thereof) and perceived needs -- the obsession with a single-story house, or the need for a tub, or a garage big enough to fit a monster truck. And it doesn't end with House Hunters. Property Virgins (love me them Canadians!), Curb Appeal, Designed to Sell . . . I watch them all!

So yes, I'll shamefully admit it. I'm hooked on chick TV.

And don't even get me started on Gossip Girl. . .
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Heroes' Who's Who

Is Heroes a repository for actors from my favorite shows? Sometimes it seems that way. In addition to regulars Adrian Pasdar (awesomely evil in the brilliant-but-canceled Profit), Greg Grunberg (CIA agent Weiss in Alias) and Kristen Bell (the lovely and talented Veronica Mars), the show is ramping it up this season with the addition of Jamie Hector (at left, as chillingly creepy drug kingpin Marlo Stanfield from The Wire), fellow Wire alum Andre Royo (who played junkie Bubbles) and Francis Capra (delinquint biker Weevil on Veronica Mars).

Well played, casting agents. Now if only they can find a spot for Michael K. Williams. Come on, who wouldn't want to see Sylar face off with Omar on a dark street?
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Who the Emmys Should Be Honoring

The Emmys are coming up Sunday, and while cable shows are finally getting more recognition from the academy, there are still plenty of snubs and plenty of undeserving nominations. Here are my picks if I was in charge of the Emmys.

BEST COMEDY SERIES
The picks: 30 Rock, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, The Office, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: Entourage had an off season, and Two and a Half Men isn't funny.
Replace them with: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Flight of the Conchords
Winner: The funniest show on TV, 30 Rock, wins back-to-back.

BEST DRAMA SERIES
The picks: Boston Legal, Damages, Dexter, House, Lost, Mad Men
Undeserving: Not a bad field. But Boston Legal doesn't belong, not by a long shot. House? Ehhh. Bye.
Replace them with: The Wire, Battlestar Galactica
Winner: The Wire. It's criminal that it's been snubbed all these years. It deserves a Return of the King-type makeup win for the entire series' run.

BEST ACTOR, COMEDY:
The picks: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock; Tony Shaloub, Monk; Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies; Steve Carell, The Office; Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: The quirkiness of Monk's Tony Shaloub has worn out, and Charlie Sheen must have blackmail material on academy voters. No, seriously. He's probably been in three-ways with hookers with half the voting members.
Replace them with: David Duchovny, Californication; Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice.
Winner: Lee Pace is would be a nice dark horse pick, but it's gotta go to Alec Baldwin, who steals every scene he's in.

BEST ACTOR, DRAMA
The picks: James Spader, Boston Legal; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Michael C. Hall, Dexter; Hugh Laurie, House; Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment; Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Undeserving: James Spader creeps me out and is on a lousy show. Hugh Laurie? Grumpy doctor blah blah blah. Gabriel Byrne, who managed to star in only the second-most depressing show of the year (congrats, Tell Me You Love Me).
Replace them with: Dominic West, The Wire; Edward James Olmos, Battlestar Galactica; Alexander Skarsgard, Generation Kill
Winner: It's great that Cranston got a nod and everyone knows Hamm will actually win. But it'd be nice for Jimmy McNulty to finally be on the winning side, so I give it to Dominic West.

BEST ACTRESS, COMEDY
The picks: Tina Fey, 30 Rock; Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine; America Ferrera, Ugly Betty; Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Undeserving: Christina Applegate? Seriously? Ugh. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Sorry. America Ferrera? Not this year.
Replace them with: Jaime Presley, My Name Is Earl; Kerri Kenney, Reno 911; Sarah Chalke, Scrubs
Winner: Tina Fey rules.

BEST ACTRESS, DRAMA
The picks: Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters; Glenn Close, Damages; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order, SVU; Holly Hunter, Saving Grace; Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Undeserving: Wow, looks more like an Oscar field. But ditch Sally Field and Mariska Hargitay.
Replace them with: Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica; Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights
Winner: Mary McDonnell reached new depths in her powerfully portrayal of President Laura Roslin's fight against cancer and crisis of faith.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, COMEDY
The picks: Jeremy Piven, Entourage; Kevin Dillon, Entourage; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Rainn Wilson, The Office; Jon Cryer, Two and a Half Men
Undeserving: Wilson can stay. The rest must go. (Sorry, Ari.)
Replace them with: Rhys Darby, Flight of the Conchords; Ray Wise, Reaper; Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock; J.B. Smoove, Curb Your Enthusiasm
Winner: Rhys Darby? Check. He was outstanding as the utterly clueless band manager/Kiwi consul Murray.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR, DRAMA
The picks: William Shatner, Boston Legal; Ted Danson, Damages; Zeljko Ivanik, Damages; Michael Emerson, Lost; John Slattery, Mad Men
Undeserving: Shatner can't seriously be nominated, can he? William Freakin . . . (pause) Shatner?!? Slattery's good but falls victim to a strong field. Too bad there's no room for The Wire's Clark Johnson.
Replace them with: Anyone from The Wire. Let's say Lance Reddick and Andre Royo.
Winner: Danson took a dramatic turn and blew me away. Emerson's googley eyes alone could win the Emmy. But Andre Royo was devastating in the redemption of Bubbles. Royo wins.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, COMEDY
The picks: Kristin Chenowith, Pushing Daisies; Jean Smart, Samantha Who?; Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live; Holland Taylor, Two and a Half Men; Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
Undeserving: Jean Smart (if she couldn't win for 24....), Amy Poehler (isn't it enough to be the funniest person on a terribly unfunny show?), Holland Taylor (good lord, another Two and a Half Men nomination? The blackmail theory might really have some legs).
Replace her with: Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies; Kristen Schaal, Flight of the Conchords; Pamela Adlon, Californication
Winner: Kristin Chenowith was pitch perfect in her pithy pining for the pie man.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS, DRAMA
The picks: Candice Bergen, Boston Legal; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers & Sisters; Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy; Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy; Dianne Weist, In Treatment
Undeserving: Ugh. Toss Bergen, Wilson, Oh, and Weist.
Replace them with: Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica; Rose Byrne, Damages; Julie Benz, Dexter; Elizabeth Moss, Mad Men
Winner: Katee Sackhoff. She reinvented her own reinvention of Starbuck.

BEST VARIETY, MUSIC OR COMEDY SERIES
The picks: Late Show With David Letterman, Real Time With Bill Maher, Saturday Night Live, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Undeserving: That SNL is still being nominated is a bigger joke than anything the show's done recently.
Replace it with: Top Gear
Winner: The Daily Show has somehow, improbably, become the most important show on television.

BEST REALITY-COMPETITION SHOW
The picks: American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, Project Runway, The Amazing Race, Top Chef
Undeserving: Much as I'd love to toss Dancing With the Stars, what would replace it? Flavor of Love? Let's just admit this is a shallow pool of contenders.
Replace them with: Nothing worthy.
Winner: Top Chef, by a mile. Take truly talented, smart people and let them duel in real, practical competitions that test their actual skills? What a twist!

So there you have it. If only the academy would listen to me. But no, the least common denominators will probably win, and we'll wake up Monday wondering just what Charlie Sheen has in his blackmail box.
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Sinking fast

Glug . . . glug . . . glug . . .

That's the sound of Fringe rapidly sinking on my must-see list. I tolerated the ridiculousness and over-exposition in the pilot, thinking it'd pick up steam. Last night's episode didn't give me much hope for that. If anything, it was even more ridiculous than the pilot. FBI agent Olivia isn't particularly compelling now that she's not trying to save her partner/secret boyfriend. Josh Jackson's character just bugs me and looks chronically constipated. And is his father an evil genius behind all sorts of horrible experiments or comic relief?

In a nutshell, Fringe doesn't know what it is. It has the intriguing, all-encompassing conspiracy and good horror-of-the-week storylines, but then it switches gears and moves from dark and moody to a by-the-books procedural with attempts at goofiness. If I wanted Bones, I'd watch Bones. But I don't. I want Fringe to take itself seriously and not dumb itself down, which is exactly what's happening. X-Files delved into the ridiculous, but handled the situation so seriously that viewers really did believe. When Fringe tries to take that same leap of faith, it flops because it's delivered by a mad scientist in a pseudo-comic manner. You just don't believe.

I'll give Fringe one more chance and hope for the best, but with Heroes coming back next week, I might drop the new show in favor of an old favorite.
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Tina Fey for President

You've probably seen it already, but the TV highlight of the weekend was, without question, the opening sketch for the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. Somehow they got Gov. Sarah Palin to appear! Huh, what a good sport! She really reminded me of Tina Fey. You can check it out here.

The rest of the show though? Sucked. If SNL wants to be relevant again, it needs to just stop broadcasting and morph into an online-only short sketch site. Like FunnyOrDie.com. The only funny SNL sketches I've seen in the past five years or so I've seen online anyway. I mean, did anyone actually see "Lazy Sunday" live on TV? Plus, online they could be edgier.
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The week in review

The TV season isn't in full swing yet, so there are still gaping holes in my viewing habits. That being said, here's a list of not so much my favorite shows from the past week, but the shows I watched. Ranked in order of awesomeness.

1. The Shield: This is the highlight of any week it's on. God, this show is good. The tension just keeps winding up, and you know it's going to explode before the season's over. Vic playing two organized crime syndicates off each other while double-crossing both of them? Vic and Shane working together to make things "right"? Vic trying to keep his career as Claudette has him in her sights? And while his own daughter almost blows everything up by trying to press charges against him? Tick tick tick tick.......this is not going to end well for anyone. Oh, and how scary were the Spook Street boys? And they're NOT one of the Top 10 gangs? Yikes.

2. Fringe: OK, the acting wasn't great, some plot points were absurd and there was a ton of awkward exposition. But the mystery was outstanding and I love conspiracy theories. The Cate Blanchett lookalike they got to star in the show is no Dana Scully, but that's probably a good thing -- there are already too many X-Files similarities. But I generally liked her character. Pacey -- err, I mean Joshua Jackson's character -- was a little young to be quite so patronizing, but once he dropped that act he was tolerable. And you've gotta love any show with Lance Reddick (Daniels from The Wire). He's just as ominous here as he was in his guest role on Lost last season. The giants locator subtitles were kinda cool (and were reminiscent of the Lost title, hmmm), but that's a trick that might get old. But overall, good production values, nice complex mystery that'll take forever to solve, and good bits of humor to break the tension. And I love how it was shot in Boston in winter. Like X-Files when it was shot in Vancouver, the location adds all kinds of moody undercurrents.

3. Entourage: The boys are back. Are they better than ever? That remains to be seen. But after a year-plus layoff, it's good to have them back. The opening scenes made me want to go to Mexico ("Wow, it's gorgeous, I never knew the coast of Baja was like that!"), until I realized they shot it in Hawaii ("Oh. Nevermind"). Vince is broke and a Hollywood pariah after his awful Medellin (reviewed in a hilarious guest appearance by Richard Roeper), which went straight to video (ouch). Hopefully he'll bounce back quickly because this show is at its best when Vince & Co. are living the high life. Broke Vince doesn't do much for me. But that bizarre bit with Drama and his new French girlfriend chirping at each other cracked me up.

4. Gossip Girl: Last week I said I wasn't hooked on it. OK, maybe I'm a little hooked. It's soapy and trashy, but not brainless. Which gives it one up on The Hills. This is quickly becoming my guilty pleasure show. The dialogue is snappy, the plot twists are delicious (Nate becoming a man-ho? Nice!), and it's self-aware enough that you know it's never going to have "a very special episode."

5. Sons of Anarchy: It seems to exist in the same universe as The Shield (One-Niners, corrupt cops everywhere), but not in the real world. It just throws me how it's set in San Joaquin County, but in a San Joaquin County with mountains, where Lodi is the major city, where heroin is bigger than meth, and where it's not oppressively hot. That bit of fantasy aside, I'm liking this show. I'm glad Charlie Hunnam (the Brit from Undeclared) finally has a good show, Katy Sagal is building an Emmy-worthy role as the resident Ophelia/Lady MacBeth, and I love how the gang is made up of a who's-who of character actors who look like serial killers (especially Kim Coates and Tommy Flanagan). I'm not completely hooked yet, and I hope it gets more compelling, because if not, it's in danger of dropping to my wait-for-DVD list once more shows start up.

6. Burn Notice: I haven't watched this week's episode yet, but it came back after a three-week, U.S. Open-induced break. This is one of my favorite shows and it has a secure spot on my weekly best list, even sight unseen.

7. The Hills. I don't know if I saw the most recent episode of last week's. Either way, it just annoyed me. I'm so over this show. The gang jetted to Vegas for Frankie's birthday. Drama ensued, yadda yadda yadda. It's sad watching this knowing that these are real people. They're all just so vapid and shallow. I can get all the same trashiness with Gossip Girl, plus not feel dirty for watching real people humiliate themselves.

What I didn't watch:

True Blood. Ehhh, it just doesn't sound up my alley. Maybe I'll check it out On Demand if I'm bored someday. Buffy gave me all the vampire storylines I'll ever need.

90210. Seriously? I didn't even make it through the pilot. It's baaaaad.

Mad Men. I know, I know, it's the best show I'm not watching. I've seen it, I've liked it, but it's just not compelling enough to get me to watch every week. It's in my DVD pile.
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I'm still alive

Apologies to my three loyal readers, I've been slacking in updating this site. Sadly, the ol' blog's priority level sank as the job-hunting and apartment-hunting priorities rose. But hopefully things will return to normal sometime soon and I'll have more time to goof off, watch TV and write about it. So until then, hang in there, and I'll try to post updates as often as I can.
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Prime-time smackdown: Gossip Girl vs. 90210

It's a battle of who's the richest, trashiest and bitchiest -- Gossip Girl or the new 90210.

But really, it's not even close.

At the urging of someone near and dear to me, I finally tuned in to Gossip Girl and caught the season premiere. I've gotta say, I was pleasantly surprised. It's totally trashy and exists in another reality, but it's so over the top and shot so stylishly. It's like the TV version of Cruel Intentions. And I loved Cruel Intentions. I was instantly won over by the voice of Veronica Mars as the narrator -- Kristen Bell needs to be on TV more. It was pretty easy to get up to speed with the plot points -- Dan and Jenny are the new kids on the scene, the Brandon and Brenda if you will; Chuck wears lime green suits and ascots yet somehow isn't gay; and everyone's slept with everyone else. It's trashy yet doesn't take itself too seriously. There are the requisite Josh Schwartz-infused pop-culture references, and in a shocking twist, the queen bee is a brunette! In my mind, Gossip Girl out-Hills The Hills (Jenny's fashion designer boss was even meaner that Kelly Kutrone). And it's so much less annoying and Spencer-free. Would I watch it again? You bet. It's not a must-list addition yet, but if I'm bored on a Monday, I'll check it out.


The new 90210, however, won't lure me again. It's not just bad, it's boring. From the opening Hills-inspired montage to the generic dialogue (Opening line, "This sucks." Seriously? What teenager would mope about moving from Wichita to Beverly Hills? And living in a mansion?), to the self-reference overload (David Silver's sister? Andrea Zuckerman's daughter? Not to mention Kelly, Brenda and Nat? Doesn't anyone ever move away from Beverly Hills?), it seemed completely unoriginal and watered down. I suppose it's a tad more realistic in that the kids' biggest problems are cheating on a report and making the lacrosse team, but no one tunes in to 90210 for realism. They tune in for over-the-top excess and trashy drama, and what they got was a dull mishmash by what seemed like the freshly scrubbed cast of High School Musical. Also, Annie (the new Brenda) was way, way too skinny and I kept waiting for Tristan Wilds to morph from adopted son and token black guy Dixon into his previous, devastatingly heartbreaking role as student-turned-hitman Michael on The Wire and pop a cap in someone's ass. Jessica Walter as the permantly tipsy, ex-Skinemax actress grandma was the best part of the show. How about retooling the show into a comedy, fire everyone but her, and make her the matriarch of a dysfunctional family a little farther south, like Newport Beach? And name one of the sons Gob. Yeah, I'd watch that. But I digress...

Most of all, 90210 seemed dated. It was fun in the 90s, but that genre has evolved, and like it or not, Gossip Girl is the new paradigm. Blame/credit Laguna Beach and The Hills, but today the wealth, the excesses and the relationship drama are revved to the red line, and 90210 is still puttering around at 35 mph.
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Return of The Shield

So how cool was that season premiere of The Shield? I had almost forgotten how much I love that show. But from the opening scene where Shane gets a brutal (and well-deserved) beat-down, Vic Mackey & Co. showed they're back with a vengeance. The plot points in the hourlong buzzsaw were dizzying -- Vic and Acevedo's newly acquired blackmail files (the scenes between the two of them are amazing), grisly gang "blood lines" being painted on city streets (the severed leg was a nice touch), Dutchboy's super awkward, post-coital exachange with Dani (I had totally forgotten about that!), Armenian mob power plays, Mexican developer power plays, a hot ICE agent, Ronnie passing the point of no return, a dead hitman suddenly missing his feet (Shane. . . dude. . . wow), a lazy cop getting his comeuppance (couldn't happen to a more weasely guy), a shootout punctuated by Vic plowing his car into the middle of it all and a tense truce between Shane, Vic and Ronnie that you just know won't last. Oh, and the Strike Team stoking an all-out gang war between the Mexicans and Armenians.

Now that's how you kick off the fall season.

If there had been any doubt before, The Shield just re-established itself as my No. 1 show. I'm already salivating for next week's episode.
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