Mmmmmm, Top Chef

Know how to properly make chicken piccata, and never undercook beets. That's what I've learned from watching Top Chef. And kids, those are lessons for life.

Season 5 of TV's best competition reality show kicks off tonight (10 p.m., Bravo), and this time the setting's Brooklyn (so expect it to rate high on the hipster-meter). Now I don't pretend to be a great cook, or even a good one. But damn, I love this show. It's so well done, the competitors so talented, the contests so relevant. Possibly unique among shows of its ilk, Top Chef actually pits highly accomplished people and lets them do what they do best -- cook. So simple, but in a TV world that rewards adults for being smarter than a fifth grader, it's refreshing to see a show that rewards actual excellence.

It's also opened my eyes to new food. Would I have tried sweetbreads or foie gras before seeing the judges drooling over them on Top Chef? Well, maybe. But it certainly made me more open to different foods and flavors. Although the thought of Stephanie's peanut butter couscous from last season still makes me gag.

Chef-testants this season include sheltered suburban mom Ariane, overbearing Long Islander Danny, Stefan the frightening Finn and an Italian actually named Fabio. Of local interest, executive chef Jamie Lauren of San Francisco's Absinthe is in the mix. Here's hoping she fares better than last season's sorry collection of San Francisco chefs. Returning to judges' table are carnivorous head judge Tom Colicchio and his penetrating glare, ice queen host Padme Lakshmi and her mile-long legs, the lovely and delightful Gail Simmons (Sorry Anne, but is it wrong to have a crush on her?) and new judge Toby Young, who replaces Ted Allen, who for some reason ($) left a brilliant show for the utterly lame Food Detectives on Discovery. No word on whether Anthony Bourdain will make another memorable guest judge appearance, but Eric Ripert, Wiley Dufrense, Martha Stewart, Rocco Despirito and Dave Grohl (?!?) are on tap.