BSG spoiler-fest

So Battlestar Galactica kicked off its final season Friday with a series of shockers that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. This may have been the bleakest, most depressing episode ever. I'm going to start talking about spoilers, so if you haven't watched, beware. If you have, then. . .

Where to begin? The missing 13th colony was Cylon. Starbuck discovers her own corpse. Dee blows her brains out. And Ellen in the final Cylon.

Let's start with the 13th colony. They were Cylons. Holy crap. So are humans and Cylons really the same? But Cylons can't reproduce. They had to be created, but by whom? And who nuked Earth? Was Earth populated by Cylons before the 13th colony arrived, and some kind of Cylon civil war broke out? Or did Cylons and humans come into contact with each other and blew each other up? Remember, "it's all happened before and it will happen again." So, so, so many questions. And I have no clue. Here's one theory: The humans nuked Earth and killed all the Cylons, and the Cylon attack on the 12 colonies was their revenge.

Who/what is Starbuck? The signal from the rescue beacon brought Starbuck to her own crashed Viper, with her charred corpse inside, a development that freaked out even the ever-creepy Leoben. So how is Starbuck still alive? Is she a Cylon? Not unless she's a heretofore-unknown 13th model (oooooh, the missing 13th colony, and unknown 13th Cylon . . . . that could be interesting). Was she cloned? That's my guess. But by who? Cylons? Remember when she was held captive on Caprica, the Cylons did something to her in that baby factory -- removed eggs? Got a nice DNA sample? Hmmmmm. Then there's the whole prophecy -- "Kara Thrace will lead the human race to its end. She is the herald of the Apocalypse, the harbinger of death." Did she bring about the destruction of Earth? Her body seemed too fresh for that. Will she bring about the end of humans? Or Cylons? Or is she some kind of human-Cylon hybrid, the first of a new race that marks the end of both humanity AND Cylons as separate species?

Poor Dee. Her suicide was one of the biggest shocks for me, and one of the saddest moments of the series. Her character was never particularly interesting, but she had eyes that could melt you, and yeah, I'm that shallow. Her death came seemingly out of nowhere, after a perfect date with ex-hubby Apollo. But really, it spoke to the utter despair felt by the survivors in the fleet. Putting all their hopes in finding the refuge that is Earth, and then finding that dream shattered must have been devastating. And what better way to illustrate that than by one of the seemingly most level-headed officers finally giving up? For once, a plot device that was understandable, though heartbreaking.

And Ellen Tigh is the final Cylon. Wow, I did not see that coming. I have to say, I'm a little underwhelmed. Her character was never fully fleshed out, and I wish we knew more about her. Her Wikipedia entry has a pretty good summary of what we know though, including lots of stuff I had forgotten about. And there were clues all along that she might have been a Cylon. I suppose I was expecting someone more shocking -- Roslin, Adama, Starbuck. But this makes a little more sense. There's been a lot of online chatter about Ellen and Saul's relationship being an epic, eternal romance, but I'm not quite buying that yet. They always seemed horribly dysfunctional, and she had slept with half the fleet. He killed her, for gods' sake! Whether it offeres a ray of hope or not, if that's the greatest romance in the galaxy, then we're all in trouble.

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Frak yeah!

This weekend is highlighted by the season premieres of two of the most highly anticipated shows of the season (for me, at least).

The final season of Battlestar Galactica kicks off at 10 p.m. tonight on Sci Fi. Those who've never watched it might chuckle at the name, but seriously, this is arguably the best show on television. No other show goes so deep into the issues of paranoia, war, social norms, morality, religion and ultimately, what it means to be human. If you aren't caught up, don't bother tuning in. There's backstory that you NEED to see first. But the previous seasons' DVDs are out and the show's on Hulu.com, so catch up fast. Tonight's premiere was written so it could have served as the series finale if the show had fallen victim to last year's writers strike, and they're promising some mind-blowing revelations (the identity of the final One?) If you saw last season and need a refresher course, catch the frak up here. You can also catch up on the 10-part webisode that reveals a big secret in Gaeta's past that may rear its ugly head tonight.

And then on Sunday, Flight of the Conchords is back for its second season on HBO. The first episode has been available online for a couple weeks, but I'm waiting to see it on the big screen. Errr, at least the bigger-than-my-laptop-screen screen. This is one of the funniest shows on TV, and if you haven't checked it out yet, it's definitely worth a look.
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Well, he knows how to sell product...

Stringer Bell is coming to The Office. Idris Elba, who memorably played entrepreneurial drug-gang money man Stringer Bell on The Wire, will guest star in six episodes as Michael Scott's new nemesis. Can't wait for this. Especially if he mentions his previous position as assistant regional manager in Baltimore or something like that. The paper industry seems a step down and slightly less lucrative for him than the heroin trade, but he'll probably end up a lot less bullet-riddled.
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Cool random show of the day

Remember Tattooine, Luke Skywalker's home planet in Star Wars? Oceans of sand with mile-high dunes, broken up by jumbles of rugged, rocky terrain? Well imagine racing across that in a car, motorcycle or souped-up truck. That's the 2009 Dakar Rally.

Originally billed as the Paris-to-Dakar Rally, the annual off-road race through the deserts of western Africa has been plagued in recent years by attacks and threats of attacks by Islamic militants and run-of-the-mill bandits (much like how the Sandpeople terrorized Tattooine). So this year the race got moved to South America, to the pampas and deserts of Chile and Argentina.

Versus has been showing half-hour Dakar highlights (3 p.m and again at 6:30 or 7:30 p.m. --it changes day to day -- through Jan. 18), and it's pretty incredible to watch, especially in HD. The spectacular barren landscape of the Atacama Desert, mountainous dunes, jagged rock flats and one of the most intense, extreme race in the world -- it's pretty impressive.

I have no idea who any of the racers are (except for IndyCar and NASCAR veteran Robby Gordon), how they follow the course or what the strategy is -- I just like watching the off-road vehicles spray huge geysers of sand as they fly over sand dunes.

Check it out ASAP -- the race ends in a few days, and they'll be out of the desert and hitting the mountains tomorrow, I think.
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The Boys of January

With spring training a mere five weeks away, it's time to start gearing up for baseball. And one way to do that is to tune in to the new MLB Network. It debuted Jan. 1 and is available on most digital cable systems (though sorry, Dish Network, not yours). It'll show a truckful of World Baseball Classic games in March, and regular Thursday night games throughout the season. But until the season starts, it's a struggle to find enough programming to fill 24 hours. But that can be good for viewers.

The broadcast schedule now consists of reruns of recent postseason games (for you Phillies fans), in-studio analysis shows and classic games. This morning's Hot Stove show featured a fascinating interview with recent Hall-of-Fame inductee Rickey Henderson explaining his base-stealing tricks to Barry Larkin and Harold Reynolds, himself a pretty decent base-stealer in his day. It was a terrific bit of insight into one of the game's greatest players, explaining how he'd focus soley on the movement of the pitcher's elbows before stealing third, and that he started sliding head-first because he was hurting his legs too much sliding feet-first. Considering all the stories about Rickey being a semi-literate space cadet, it's nice to see him show what an intelligent player he really was.

That was followed by a replay of Don Larsen's perfect game in the 1956 World Series (which I'm watching right now -- Mickey Mantle just got the first hit of the game, a home run in the fourth). The game hasn't been shown in its entirety since '56, and this the type of gem where MLB Network could excel. The league owns the network, and controls a vast vault of historic games and documentaries. The game broadcast is refreshingly stripped down -- black and white, two camera angles, no instant replay, no crowd shots, barebones graphics, and an amazing 15 Hall of Famers taking part in one of the greatest performances in baseball history. Mel Allen and Vin Scully do the play-by-play, Allen doing the first half alone in the booth, Scully taking over for him in the bottom of the fifth. I've gotta say, it's a whole lot of fun to watch a World Series game from a 1956 perspective (A day game . . . no shots of celebrities in the crowd . . . no Tim McCarver . . . and lots of classic Gilette commercials). One interesting thing Mel Allen pointed out -- the Yankees removed the batter's eye in center field for that game to squeeze more fans into the park, making it tougher for hitters to see the pitch. And through five innings, there's only been one hit in the game -- Sal Maglie has matched Larsen almost pitch for pitch. Huh, I never knew that.

Figuring out programming can be a challenge (try the online schedule) since -- on my Comcast TV Guide at least -- it says simply "MLB Network" instead of breaking down individual shows. But hopefully that'll change soon. This is a network that could very easily find itself being my default channel of choice.

Ooooh, Mantle just made a great catch to rob a triple in Death Valley and keep the perfect game going.

See what I mean?
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Comings and goings

Fox announced Tuesday that Prison Break is coming to an end after four seasons. The show, which went on hiatus in December, will return April 17 with about a half-dozen episodes to wrap things up. I never got into it -- I got my fill of labrynthine plot twists and implausible action from 24 for too many years -- but it's nice they'll get a chance to shoot an actual series finale.

Life on Mars is getting a spinoff series on BBC America. Ashes to Ashes premieres March 7, and will feature a modern-day female cop who gets shot and transported back to 1981, where she meets Detective Chief Inspector Gene Hunt (Philip Glenister), who was similarly-transported Detective Sam Tyler's boss in 1974. Two unrelated people bounced back in time due to a catastrophic injury? Sounds like a bit of a stretch, but it stars Keeley Hawes (who was great as Zoe in MI-5) and coming from the Life on Mars creators, it might be worth a shot. Oh, and of course, Ashes to Ashes is the title of an obscure David Bowie song, just like Life on Mars. Hmmm, maybe Bowie's behind the time-travelling. He always seemed inter-dimensional.

Speaking of Mars, seems like half the cast of Veronica Mars will be reuniting in creator Rob Thomas' new show, Party Down, on Starz. The comedy, about L.A. caterers who really want to be actors, premieres March 20. It'll star Ken Marino (slimy P.I. Vinnie Van Lowe), Adam Scott (creepy teacher Mr. Rooks), Jane Lynch (?) and Ryan Hansen (the immortal Dick Casablancas), with Enrico Colantoni (Keith Mars) and Ed Begley Jr. (Dean O'Dell) appearing as guest stars. And rumor has it Kristen Bell wants to do a guest appearance as well.
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American cheese

OK, so maybe I'll admit to belting out a Kelly Clarkson song or two with the radio as I sped across pastureland in Iceland a few years back (long story). But that doesn't mean I'll be tuning in to American Idol tonight. But half of the country will be.

The ratings juggernaut returns to Fox for an eighth season, and this season will have a few changes in order to spice things up. Most noticeably, a fourth judge has been added: Grammy-nominated (Oooh, Freudian slip -- I originally typed "Granny") songwriter/producer Kara DioGuardi. Apparently the British version has four judges, so the show is sort of returning to its roots. The ever-acerbic Simon Cowell will take a back seat and be used when needed as a tiebreaking vote. They'll also show less of the trainwreck auditions and bring more semifinalists to Hollywood.

Yawn. Whatever. Regardless of the changes, the show will still run its generic, cheesetastic pop machine roughshod over America, further eroding a once great musical culture. In protest, I'll be listening to some old Replacements albums.

But for any Idol worshippers out there, here's a link you might want to check out. My colleague, assistant sports editor and senior old-person music editor Bill Pinella, will be blogging about his love affair with the show. I'm sure it'll be special.

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